STRAIGHT FROM THE VICTIMS

"I’ve been in the AWDTSG groups for a while and they are disgusting. I’ve recently started leaving them because of how bad they are. Every other post is asking someone to stalk or set up a guy. It’s disgusting! If the group kept with its original intentions it might be a good and safe group, but it’s not. The level of $h!t talking is worse than anything I’ve ever seen. Online dating and those groups have ruined dating! I guess the constant leaks can be helpful to a degree but the lies and garbage are still out there for all to see. Some months back i saw a guy on there that was mentally challenged and the crap they were talking about him was horrific! I chimed in and shamed them for anonymously shaming someone who is mentally disabled. I got in trouble by the moderators. Go figure. I guess truth isn’t allowed."

​

​

​​​ "yeah, im a chick too and i'm in them so i can check and see, and wait for something bad enough where i think facebook might ACTUALLY look into it and take the group down if i report it. thankfully there's no stalking or anything in the one for my area, but they have absolutely bullied and harassed multiple men, men who were falsely accused of things, and men who are disabled as well. it's actually so nasty."

​

 

​"Can I just say that I am a woman and these groups are incredibly toxic! I actually got kicked out and blocked from the ones in my state when I would call these girls out (bc that's what they are. Mean girls who never peaked beyond HS). I would comment on their posts and ask why they are posting a screenshot of a conversation with a man they never met or why they don't just move on and let it be if they weren't on the same wavelength. How mad they would get at me, like please. The original premise of the groups were to warn women of dangerous men NOT to make fun of men or to post someone when they got mad that it didn't work out. I'm so sorry for any man that has been effected by these groups. I, for one, would never judge a man by his past bc I wouldn't want to be judged on my past either. It makes us who we are. So not all of us are bad. I am glad I am no longer in the groups, not seeing the toxicity on my feed constantly has been a welcome change." ​ ​

 

 

"Ditto everything you said. 75% of the men posted in the Honolulu group are military under the age of 30. They have a ton of pick me girls that will post anything to deter the OP from dating these men. Since the start of anonymous commenting it has been an absolute shit show. Women just wanting to stir the pot for entertainment. This is the AWDTSG Honolulu / Oahu group on the daily. I will admit that those groups became an addiction. It was the first feed I'd read every morning. Now that I've removed everything I'm starting to see my part in engaging in that toxic behavior and I'll do whatever I can possible to help remove these groups once and for all."

 

 

“I went out on a first date with a woman. We had a really great time talking and so I opened up to her about the emotional point in my life where I decided that I wanted a wife and children. I made it explicitly clear that I was dating with that intention, but never said I was dead set on her. It was only a first date. Well, after that she got progressively more interested in me. She told her mom, neighbors, and friends about me. Started inviting me places non stop and would find excuses to drop by my place even on days we agreed we were not going to see each other. After a couple weeks I was over it and I had some really chaotic stuff happen in my life, so I sat down with her and told her that I wasn't ready for a relationship with her. She got upset, insulted me multiple times, and eventually it escalated to her yelling at me in the parking lot and slamming my door. Well, months go by and I'm seeing someone new and just for fun they looked me up in my cities awdtsg group. Turns out this girl had created a whole post of me with a picture she downloaded from my dating app profile along with my full name and went on a long rant about what a piece of crap I was. Even though I had never promised her anything. My new girlfriend luckily laughed it off, but I was really upset. She even acknowledged in her post that I wasn't sleeping around, she just didn't like me. I felt a little violated as I had never consented to my pictures being taken and it was a completely one sided vent from her. I've always been of the opinion that these groups never make women safe at all and are just an excuse to demonize men. Anything I can do to participate in them being taken down I'm all for.”

​

​

I've been posted four separate times in AWDTSG Sacramento starting in June of 2023 and the last time was 3 November 2023. These groups and those like them are massive (42K members in the Sacramento group alone!) and have severely complicated and tainted my ability to date without prejudices. These groups are inherently toxic and in no way "Empower women". 

​

​

“Background: I was born in a former-Soviet occupied, now EU country and grew up in the United States. I grew up on the west coast of the US in a very liberal city. I was falsely accused of abuse by a woman I went on two dates with, despite never being intimate with her. She disagreed with my personal opinions and retaliated by spreading false claims about me in multiple Facebook groups. Using social engineering, she sabotaged my dating life, leading to ten consecutive instances of women suddenly cutting me off, something that had never happened before. Her actions escalated when she attempted to get me fired. She tracked down my co-workers, convinced them at social events that I was abusive, and urged them to report me to our boss. Thankfully, I kept my job, but the incident exposed her campaign against me. I hired an attorney, pursued legal action, and won my case. She is now prohibited from contacting me, my friends, or posting about me. However, the damage was already done—posts from her friends about me are still circulating in AWDTSG groups across the U.S. As a dual citizen, I decided to leave the U.S. permanently and return to my home country. Here, cancel culture and groups like AWDTSG have no traction due to the lack of freedom of speech laws that enable such behavior. Hope that helps. Sometimes I miss the opportunity I had in the United States but the peace of mind my home country provides is priceless. I won't even date American women anymore.”

​

​

“I dated a girl three years ago (XXX). She was seeing someone behind my back and broke up with me to try and see if the new guy would pan out. She wanted to keep me around as a backup plan and I told her no. When the new guy ghosted her because she wouldn’t sleep with him soon enough, she attempted to get back into my life. It got to the point that she was calling from other numbers and trying to show up to my work. It was a messy breakup. Fast forward less than a year later and I was in the hospital dying of a heart condition. I reached out to her to apologize for things not working out. I was scared, and dying alone. Anyways, she took me to court for harassment (which is defined as two or more attempts of unwanted contact). So I plead guilty because I was given a few months to live. I’m still alive after all of this time and the doctors are unsure of how. Anyways, (XXX) is in these groups airing out all of this but making her seem like the victim. I’m terminally ill and don’t want to deal with this. It’s affected my place of employment, and she is using the groups to try and get ahold of my friends. The emotional stress of knowing that my reputation is destroyed from groups like this has had legitimate effects on my heart condition.”

​

​

“I was kind and respectful to someone I dated for a few weeks and ended it. I had someone show me the post even though they weren't 'allowed' to. (Small town vibes) I haven't dated since. I see so many posts about guys being awful but to my surprise, when you are kind and respectful, you still get lit up on social media. I'm looking for a family, kids, marriage, the whole thing. Not much out here in your 30s and I've been single for almost 4 years.”